| Anyone out there who has a strong willed child? I feel like I am all alone in this world of motherhood, no one has a child like mine. i don't knwo what to do anymore, I lost it at church and broke down and cried. Janae pulls kids hair and won't let go til her hands are full of it. I feel so embarrasses adn such a horrible parent. I try adn discipline her by telling her no a slapping her hand but she doesn't care, it doesn't even seem to phase her. Today I spanked her pretty good as this behavior has gone on long enough, I feel horrible and quilty as a parent, why cna't she just be an easy going child, She has been a challenge from day one, with the not sleeping thing and whining and i don't know how to break this behavior. How much of her "personality" was she born with and how much has become a learnt' behavior. I feel like a failure, just like i have felt as a wife adn a friend. i am so unhappy with myself. Anyways I don't know why i ma venting out to the world but i just need some help or encouragement. We have a baby comign in like 4 and bit months and I really don't know how i am going to do it. Oh well I pray that God will give me the strength adn patience i need. Anywho enough venting. talk to you later |
Sunday, August 5, 2007
At a Wits end!
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3 comments:
Hi Christy:
You don't know me - I found your blog when I was just looking at friends of friends of friends' blogs - but I hear what you're saying! Parenting can be extremely challenging. My three kids are all grown up now, and they turned out to be very wonderful adults, but when they were small there were times I wondered about my abilities as a mother too!
What I found most helpful was to have some good friends who were in the same boat as me. Friends who were well grounded Christians, women whom I admired and learned from. I joined a ladies Bible Study or whatever was available at the time, and also met socially with moms and their kids. Talking with older women is enormously helpful as well. I also learned a lot from reading books. In those days Focus on the Family was the best resource, but these days there is much to choose from. One book that I've heard good comments about is "Making Your Children Mind Without Losing Yours".
Whenever I watch Super Nanny on TV I think she gives such excellent advice, and I wish I had known those things when my kids were little! You can learn a lot from that show. Your situation might be unique, but the principles are the same - YOU are the boss, and your children need guidelines and consistent discipline and rewards, and then everyone is happy.
Fortunately, your girl is very young, so there is lots of time to correct her behaviour. Just don't give up! You can do it!
Most of all, have lots of FUN with your daughter. Take the time to play dolls or whatever games she likes to play, read lots and lots of books to her, watch videos, bake cookies, go for walks........always point out and teach her to appreciate beautiful and lovely things in life. Show her what a wonderful world we live in, and how thankful we are that God loves us and blesses us! Encourage a positive attitude by modelling it.
For help in your marriage, I would recommend Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Some people scoff at it, but it really gives great practical advice that has helped many a marriage. When you treat your husband with respect and love, you will be amazed at what a wonderful man he becomes, and how you will be blessed.
I'm so glad to know that you are a Christian woman, because you have access to supernatural help and guidance! Pray, read and study God's word, reach out to others and learn from them.
You're already on the way to success, by admitting that you need help and being willing to learn!
God bless you Christy!
From An Older Mom
I don't know how to contact you so i hope you come back and read my blog. I think i spend too much time with Janae, i am constantly going out to the parks, walks playing with her that she doesnt' know how to entertain herself. i can't even make dinner alone! Supernanny is wonderful but most of the kids i see are older so I am stuck between what does janae understand and know and what i should expect from her. I am going to phone around tomorrow and find a group or calss that deals with strong willed children just to get some suggestions. I dont' find friends that helpful as none of them have a child like mine, they are all content little children so when they suggest things it is almost more annoying because they don't know, they really don't, It is like someone trying to help you deal with anxiety and depression they can't help you cause they arn't in your shoes. anyways thanks for the tips and i am gald you came across my blog.
Hi Christy,
I'm sorry that things are so rough with Janae. I'll be praying for you that you find something works for you. Kyra is a very strong-willed child so I foresee me having some of the same problems. I know that Kyra's at a different stage than Janae so I can't really understand, but I'm here to listen if you need. I can also take Janae for a little bit one afternoon if you want a bit of a break. I'll keep praying and I hope things get better soon.
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